And that I may come forth like Bennu, the Morning Star”

-Egyptian book of the Dead.

I read this inside the front cover of the menu in a city restaurant, a few days after my Croning in which I changed my name to my new Power Animal Sparrowhawk. It struck me how poignant those words were for my own journey of spirit right now.

Working with Power Animals has been something that came to me in my own training as a student of PS. The Black Panther came as an exercise in visualization that I did in my first year of training. The energy of this was so powerful that it came alive for me in a very strong way. The Panther stood beside the Inner Child, who desperately wanted to get on its back and ride. “No”, said the panther. “You are not ready to ride with me. You must learn how to listen to your instincts, live in each moment fully and be inside your body before you can come with me”.

That started a long journey. One which led me down a path of feeling. A path fraught with pitfalls and crisis. One day many years later, after recovery from burn out (caused by not listening to my feelings) and a very traumatic break up which included getting ripped off to the tune of $17,000.00 (another example of not trusting my instincts), I experienced the Panther again in a session with a colleague. This time in the visualization, I was grown and streaking across the land on its back. I had learned my lessons the hard way, but I had learned them.

Not long after that I came to Aotearoa and met the seals on the end of the Peninsula. They grabbed by heart with their mournful cry as I stood there that wet windy day. They called to me in my dreams long after I returned to Oz (Australia). By this time I had already come across the Psychosynthesis/Shamanic connection. I read “The Way of the Shaman” by Michael Harner, who outline shamanic techniques. I was amazed at the similarity to the Psychosynthesis-developed techniques that I was using to good affect with my clients. I had also my first contact with the concept of Animal teachers or Power Animals. I quickly realized that the panther was more than it seemed. So what is a Power Animal? It is a Higher-Self-sent archetypal being from the animal spirit world that typifies the qualities of their species. They are sent to us to work with us for a while, just as a human teacher is, to help us learn from their qualities what we need to know for the next part of our evolutionary journey.

So having completed my course on life with the panther, I was presented with a new being: the Grey Seal. Much to learn. The learning never stops and when we are ready the teacher, as they say, is always there to take us on the next leg of our evolutionary journey. Grey seals that live both in my homeland of Great Britain, and here (NZ), had much to teach me about my ancestor’s relationship with them and their ability to move between the worlds. They had to teach me how to do that: to exist in different realities, and to connect with the age old stories that my people knew. Stories of how the Seal can help you find your Soul-Skin.

So relationships began to break again. A change of country. Heart-wrenching grief. The voluntary loss of a busy practice, superannuation scheme, way of life. The list goes on. But a new start. A new way. An initiation into the world of spirit with a shamanic name this time. “Greyseal”. Scary times. Sometimes I thought I was going to loose it (whatever it was) if I kept going down this road of shifting realities. But instead I found ‘it’! I learned the how and the where. I became comfortable in different territory.

Over the last several years the seals have been really quiet within me. I had been wondering where they were and what this meant. My croning (56) and the associated personality changes that go with huge rites of passage were moving me into yet a new transformation. Some months ago I met the New Zealand Falcon (Karearea) and it said from a tree above my head that it was time for a name change again. Interestingly, it felt like hawks had been protecting me as they flew overhead on my journeys. One day in Borowyn (my campervan), I had the image of a huge hawk-like creature with its wings wrapped around me towering 20 feet above and behind me. It gave me such a wonderful feeling of peace. It had to be significant. This last communication showed that already the bird had adopted me. I have a new teacher. I am an acolyte again.

Then as I approached the Croning Ritual, I was amazed to realize that my power animals themselves form a pattern. Panther for Earth, Seal for Water, Sparrow Hawk for Air. What's next in the elemental building blocks of our being? “Fire” a voice said inside of me. Phoenix another voice whispered. “ I am your future as these are your Present and Past”. Another name for the Greek Phoenix is the Egyptian “Bennu”. I feel convinced that there will come a time, after I have learnt the lesson of the hawk, that I too will “enter in as the Hawk and come forth as the Bennu”. I too will die in my own ashes and be reborn. I too will know the secret of the passage.

Blessings Sparrowhawk (aka Jay!)